Karma’s A Bitch Who Was Not Invited

Does it ever seem like your own personal bad karma gets saved up until it bursts into this massive 48 hour pile of crap? Why can’t the good karma and the bad karma come hand in hand and balance of each other out? Wouldn’t it be great if say one day you find $20 bill while running to catch the train you know you are going to miss? The $20 would make it less frustrating right? Or getting into a fight with đź‘» but the same day winning tickets to see đź‘»’s and your favorite artist. I think that would lead to a quicker make-up, don’t you?

Instead it feels as though they happen light years apart. I mean lets be honest finding 20 bucks or winning concert tickets are rare to begin with, at least for me. I consider good luck when I find free parking downtown on a weekend. But boy does the bad luck sure like to knock you over and kick you while your down. After the medical emergency with my co-worker, I spent the rest of the evening having a long argument with the boyfriend. This kept me up until 2:00 am. The next morning I got stuck in the snow and missed the train.

It took everything I had not to cry in the middle of the train station, which got me thinking. How do people get through these days? Are you calm? Do you ball your eyes out? Do you throw a tantrum? I, personally, go through a very complicated, yet strategic, series of behaviors. I call it “The Chi Girl’s 12 Tracks to Derailment” Effectiveness from 1-10 is a 6. Works best with overthinkers, stubborn people, and Pisces.

Chi Girl’s 12 Track to Derailment

1. Fake meditation

Everything is ok. At least that is what you keep telling yourself. Yet you find yourself slamming things a little harder and saying things a little sharper. But you take deep breathes and convince yourself this will blow over soon…

2. Distance and refusal to acknowledge feelings. 

Now you know you are not ok but you’ve made a big deal on playing it cool so you must continue the facade. This usually goes hand in hand with the silent treatment if you are mad at someone.

3. Stubbornness

You will die before admitting that person, place, or thing has gotten to you.

4. Massive floodgates of tears

You can no longer hide your feels so you spill them all out in one giant word vomit followed by uncontrollable sobbing.

5. Frustration that none of the above has made you feel better

You would think getting everything out would set you free but you still fell like crap.

6. Urge to throw things and punch something 

Perhaps this is why people like to fight when they’re frustrated. Maybe since “bad juju” is such an abstract concept we need something physical to fight. Cause right now you just feel like You need a punching bag.

8. Restlessness 

You’ve talked your family/boyfriend/bff/therapist to death. The world is asleep but you are not yet out of your head and just fester in the stew and hating  everyone.

7. Tv

Netflix and turn off your brain.

8. Real meditation and reflection

The tv has stopped you from the over thinking and to the real thinking. Life could be worse… The love of your life could have died in a upper Manhattan street fight like in Cruel Intentions (which you are watching on Netflix). You start counting your blessings and remembering all the good luck you’ve had that certainly trumps the bad.

9. Sleep

At 2 am in the morning. But feeling better if not a little sleep-deprived slap happiness.

10. Waking up at peace but tired as hell. 

It’s a new day! Carpe diem, Viva La Vida, Hakuna Matata! Coffee!

11. Something new goes awry.

Turned out it snowed last night, your car gets stuck, and the parking meter is frozen and won’t take your credit card… And the train decides to be on time for once.

12. Return to stage one

Everything’s fine….


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