Too Chi to Care? (Ponderings of an Asshole)

Today my cubicle neighbor hurt themselves during their lunch break. They ended up needing a wheelchair just to make it down to the lobby to go home. As one of our co-workers basically carried her to the front I couldn’t help but feel a slight tinge of guilt.
This happens every once in a while when things such as this starts to happen. I start thinking about everything I did or, in most cases, didn’t do. And I start to wonder… Does my introverted nature prohibit me from caring enough?
Today, for example, when my colleague came in she mentioned she strained her leg over the weekend and had to run to the train. I asked if she was ok and acknowledged the suckiness of such a thing but as I was talking to her she didn’t seem injured. When she came back from lunch limping, and with someone helping her to walk, I asked what happened and my manager asked if she needed medical assistance. She said no. I offered to get her Advil from downstairs and told her to take it easy.
Then, as the afternoon wore on, I checked up on her and got the same response. She was pain but there wasn’t much more to do. I asked questions, tried to relate with any similar experience. It’s at this point I get stumped. How far does one push someone with concern? Before her husband picked her up she wanted to go to the lobby downstairs by herself. I suggested she just stay here and let him come up. As she made her way to the front office I asked if I could help with anything and she said she was ok. Then two seconds later someone else offered to help her walk and call for a wheelchair. And I felt like an inconsiderate asshole.
I do genuinely care for her well being. But it seems like I don’t ask the right questions at the time. And then someone offers the right advice or offer of help and I think – Why didn’t I think of that? Was I not adamant enough? Then when everyone is there getting things taken care of I just sit there, kind of paralyzed myself.
Can being yourself mean being ignorant of what is considered considerate? Or is over analyzing your behavior over someone else’s injury really the asshole part here? Either way I felt like an asshole today. But hopefully my friend knows that, despite my inability to act normal in such circumstances, I truly hope her injury is not serious and that pain subsides. Sorry for being an asshole.

– Chi Girl



3 thoughts on “Too Chi to Care? (Ponderings of an Asshole)

  1. There are so many things that could be at play here. Your post made me smile. Being aspergers and having an autistic son, you would FIT wonderfully into my world. We could wonder together what the Hell just happened and why did things play out that way together.

    Probably, the woman didn’t want the extra attention, but the pain kept building. She may be like me and NOT like folks to touch or hold her–so the chair idea gave her the opportunity get help without leaning on a person’s body.

    I think you did good. You can’t be all things to all people and I am sure you are amazing person to some. Honestly, that is all we can hope to be. Keep on reaching out. Keep on caring. You can’t think of everything! Blessings!


    1. You’re comment just made my day! The best thing so far since I’ve started ChiGirl is connecting to smart, funny, and caring people like yourself who can relate to some of the things that I post. Your world does sound like a place I could sit comfortably in. So thank you for connecting and yes- we can wonder aloud together!

      Liked by 1 person

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